Is That How People Love?

Airports. You can see an awful lot in airports. You can peer deep into the human condition whilst on a layover in a busy city airport.

I spend way too much time in airports.








Most of the time I see lovely and heartfelt moments...



People in love who run to each other and embrace after a long absence.

Teenagers venturing out into the wide world of independence.

Dogs high on canine downers.
 


Great Grandmas embarking on new adventures...eventhough they are frightened.

But this morning I witnessed something that truly bothered me to my very core. And it made me wonder --

Is that how people love? 

I was waiting for my very early morning flight to work when I heard a final boarding call for 2 people for the departing plane next to my gate.

Bummer.

Mere minutes later, a couple came rushing down the escalator from the security area to the gate. They were out of breath, in their late 50's to early 60's, and obviously in a hurry to catch their plane.

They were two minutes too late.

I heard the woman plead with the airline counter lady that she HAD to board the plane and something about missing a connecting flight to Hawaii. Then I heard the airline counter lady say something about being sorry and the flight being closed.

Then it happened. The woman started crying.

At first, the crying didn't phase me. I mean, afterall. It's just a missed flight. Airline counter ladies know how to handle this. Things will be taken care of. The couple will get to Hawaii. But then I heard the woman cry harder and sob to her husband,

I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! 

And she wasn't merely apologizing. She sounded as though she had caused her husband insurmountable pain and near death. Words cannot describe the sheer pain in her every sob. The more she sobbed uncontrollably, the more her husband became curt with her. He spoke to her in a very angry manner...yet quietly. I sensed a great deal of contempt in his voice, in his eyes, as he spoke to his crying wife. His lips curled. Condescending.

And as she sobbed, the only words that escaped her trembling lips were,

I'm sorry. 

I should have left earlier. 

I'm sorry I got stuck at security. 

I'm sorry that I cost you so much money. 

I'm sorry. 

I'm so very sorry. 

Granted, I don't know the full story. And I could be imagining all of this based on my own personal history. But I know that feeling. That feeling when emotions overtake you out of humiliation in front of your partner. That feeling like you can't do right by the one you love. The feeling like you can't do ANYTHING right, for that matter. The feeling like no matter what you do, the one you love will resent you for it.

But that can't be right. That can't be how people are supposed to love.

I'd hope that if ever I were faced with that situation myself that the person I chose as my mate would love me as I need to be loved. My husband would love me enough to know that I'm a procrastinator. He'd secretly set my clock 15 minutes ahead so I'd wake up on time. He'd help me get prepared the night before with my liquids in a zip lock baggie. He'd drive us to the airport with way more time than we'd ever need because he knows I don't move so fast in the early hours of the morning. He'd help me plan and TOGETHER we'd make our flight and our dream vacation a reality.

Of course, I'd help him ditch the plans once we were on the beach and have the absolute time of his life! I'd lavish him with spontaneity! I'd make him laugh 'til he cried! I'd rub his forehead while we lay on the white sand. I'd kiss him and hold his hand. I'd buy him a hideous Hawaiian shirt.

And if I screwed up, he wouldn't see it that way. He'd see that I was human...just like him. Just like everyone else in the world.

And if we missed our flight, we'd miss it together. He'd take my hand, wipe my tear from my cheek, look lovingly into my eyes, smile tenderly and say,

There, there dear. The airport counter lady will take care of us. It's not the end of the world. As long as we're by each other's side, we can overcome any sort of hiccup life belches our way. 

Now that's how people love, right?

Ah well...if that only happens in LaLa land where unicorns roam...

    Then I'll just continue to fly solo.

The Power of Friendship

Wanna know a secret? It's something that really hit home with me this weekend. It's a huge secret, although you probably already know it. Ya ready? Shhhhh...don't tell anyone...

Here goes:

Never Underestimate the Power of Friendship. 

        

Tada! Great secret, huh? 

Well, ok. So maybe it's not such a big secret. In fact, it's not a secret at all. But sometimes I forget what truly is the wind beneath my oftentimes flailing wings. And I've certainly come to appreciate the friendships & wind power I've grown to love over the years. 

This weekend, alone, my friends showed their love in the most amazing ways: 

1. My girlfriend (who lives three time zones away) lent me her ear at 7am after my long hectic work week.

2. My oldest girlfriend and I caught up on the events of the week & laughed at the silly things our families do.

3. My favorite Puerto Rican girlfriend & her family fed me the most amazing dinner.

4. My lovely ladies' Bunco group of 3 years made me laugh until I thought I was going to puke.

5. My dear friend who turned me on to This American Life treated me to a gorgeous dinner chalk full of conversation with much substance (nevermind the chocolate chili cheesecake).

I am truly a lucky girl. 

I have some of the best friends any one person could ever ask for. 

My friends are always there when I need them. 

• They always make me laugh.
• They always listen when I need to spill my guts.
• They always share their wisdom when I can't seem to find my way.
• They hold me when I cry. 
• They check in with me on facebook to show they care.
• They feed me because they know my cooking skills are lacking. 

And, no matter how much time has passed or how long it's been since I've called or written, they always let me fall right back into our friendship conga rhythm without missing a beat. 

So, this post is for you, my friends. Without your love and friendship, I know I'd be an empty shell of a person. You fill my life with joy, love, laughter (LOTS of laughter), and hope. 

I hope I can someday offer you as much love and joy as you, me. 

PS...

Thanks for the smiles, wisdom, and FOOD!  :D

A Loving Mother's Diabolical Plan...

Ok...not so much diabolical. But, rather, loving. Honest! Allow me to explain...

I had a wonderful conversation with my 13 year old daughter at the dinner table tonight. She told me a sad story about a couple friends of hers who are going through tough phases right now.

One girl is going is succumbing to peer pressure to be all grown up way too fast.

The other girl is buckling under parental pressure to be perfect in every way thereby creating a Mt. St. Helen's eruption in 5, 4, 3...
  




Poor kids.





She told me how lucky she felt not to have those pressures. Of course she has pressures, as all teenagers do, but hers are not the two above. She told me that she was grateful to me for that.

I smiled at her and told her that I had to take ALL of the credit for how wonderful of a young lady she is turning out to be. All of it. My credit. I told her that it was part of my very calculated, very intentional plan. Yes. A plan that involved years of scheming. A plan that involved specific calculated decisions. A plan that was perfect in the making. A plan that was...

Built upon instinct and love.

After hearing this she looked at me with a face of confusion.

So I proceeded to elaborate on said plan.

Mom's Loving Diabolical Instinctual Plan:

1. Ban teen fashion dolls which are dressed more provocatively than you'd

EVER let your own daughter dress.

  2. Don't add unnecessary pressures that won't truly matter in the end.

  3. Hug often.

4. Be...

   ...Silly.

  

5. Foster individualism & creativity.

6. Forget the plan.

Follow your motherly-loving instincts. We have 'em for a reason. Trust them. And though as parents we all make mistakes...

You can't go wrong with love.

I love you, Lil D. Bunches. :)

To Resolve or Not to Resolve...that is the Question!

So, the New Year is upon us once again! And once again, people are listing their New Year's resolutions either in conversation, on blogs, facebook, Twitter, etc. Some people are even resolving not to resolve! But still, resolutions are par for the New Year's conversations.

And when I am asked, "What is your New Year's resolution?"

I am usually one of those people that respond with,

I don't put such pressure on myself only to fail miserably by February. I don't make resolutions. I just try and live well every day of the year."

Bull.

I do place a great amount of pressure on myself. Every day. And sometimes I fail and sometimes I don't. But most often than not, I am under a great deal of strain every single day eventhough I don't like to admit it. And it's not strain that others necessarily place on me. It's a lifestyle of pressure that I've created for myself.

I swear it's like a new 'syndrome.' It should have its own name. Kind of a catchy, yet clinical sounding name would be good.

Maybe it could be called the

I-Think-That-I-Have-To-Keep-Up-With-My-Self-Afflicted-Unrealistic-Expectations-To-Please-EVERYONE-Else-Therefore-I-Work-Myself-To-Near-Death-Personus-Disorderous.

Or how about the

I-Can't-Seem-To-Let-Things-Happen-On-Their-Own-Without-The-Overpowering-Urge-To-Control-Every-Tiny-Aspect-of-My-Life-Clinicous-Syndromonious

So, with that said, this year I am making a resolve. A New Year's resolution, so to speak. And I resolve to let things be. Go with the flow. Relax. Not place so much pressure on myself to be everything to everyone. I resolve to take care of me and mine first and foremost.

The rest will fall into place...

Just the way it's supposed to.

Taking It All In

There are two things that I truly enjoy doing and that make me feel extra good on any given day:

Walking.

Taking pictures.

Often times, I take pictures while I walk. (Thank Heavens for camera phones! Truly one of the greatest inventions, ever.) But sometimes I notice that I miss some really important stuff when I try to walk and shoot at the same time.

1. I can't remember the path back to where I began. (This happens most often when I'm roaming in the woods.)
2. I miss the obvious. (Like my body about to collide with a moving vehicle.)
3. And I don't truly take it all in.

The first two I notice happen to me quite often. (My ex boyfriend can tell you about a pretty significant argument we had about his leaving me on a path in the middle of Leslie Gulch (a volcanic creek bed in the middle of nowhere) just before a lightening storm began. I was too busy snapping photos that I couldn't find my way back to the car! Ack!)

However, I never really noticed that I sometimes don't take it all in until one late summer afternoon this year.

I was riding my bike through the neighborhood (ok, not walking) and enjoying my time away from deadlines, money stress, and other daily struggles when I noticed a GORGEOUS sunset in the distance. The sky was turning beautiful shades of red, orange, and purple right before my very eyes. Since I had my handy-dandy iPhone with me (as always) I stopped my bike and proceeded to dig for it in my pocket.

Then I stopped digging.

I simply sat still and watched the sun set.

I'm not sure how long I sat and watched the sun set, but it felt like an eternity. And it was an eternity of sheer peace. It was a feeling that I realized I was missing out on when I hid behind a lens...for that little piece of equipment can take away the true glory of life when it sits between us and the magnificent world if we're not careful.

When the sun finally disappeared in the horizon for its slumber, I got back on my bike and started my hurried ride home.

Then it began to rain.

I slowed down, turned my face to the sky, and took it all in.

I even took another lap around the block.

:)