I See Me

I wrote this back in December of 2013 in response to a really shitty thing a boyfriend said to me one day at the beach. It was the last time I went to the beach. But fuck that. Beach bound, I am. It's taken 3 years to overcome the pain and hurt (because prior to his hurtful words I had never thought of myself as anything other than beautiful - he sort of shook me up with his impression of me)... but now I am healed. Now I share with the world. Once again, I see me. It is a beautiful freedom not to care how others see you physically. There is too much to do and see  and experience in the world so I choose to do it with abandon and love for myself. All of me. Every. Last. Inch.

A big thank you to my daughter who encouraged me to post this poem today.


You will never see me
As I see me.

You see fat.
I see strength.
I see perseverance.
I see beauty.

You see a back with rolls.
I see a back that has weathered storms over years of hardship.

You see shoulders that are slumped.
I see shoulders that have carried the weight of the world.

You see arms with flab.
I see arms that hold with steadfast love.

You see a gut with stretch marks.
I see a stomach that bore the soul of a precious child.

You want this body hidden behind the cloak of darkness.

I want this body to feel the warmth of the sun on it's bare skin.
I want this body to feel the gentle caress of love.
I want this body to dance freely in the ocean waves.

I want to be seen.
For me.
For who I am and who this body represents.

A woman who has the strength to raise a child alone.

A woman who has the perseverance to move forward in life when the odds were stacked up against her.

A woman who looks beyond the surface and sees the goodness in others no matter how hidden.

A woman who can appreciate the beauty around her - including the beauty in herself.

I see me.